One of the most
unfortunate – and most common- situations that young entrepreneurs face is a
family that’s not supportive. While your friendships can be replaced, however
reluctantly, your family cannot. Living with (literally or not) parents or
siblings who do not understand, or simply refuse to support your
entrepreneurial aspirations, can often be the breaking point for many
early-stage entrepreneurs.
Here are some
questions to ask yourself:
§ What is their real
reason for not supporting you?
§ Are they unclear
about what you’re doing?
§ Have they been
saving money for the past 20 years to send you to med school?
§ Have they failed at
an entrepreneurial attempt themselves?
§ Do they know of
others who have?
§ Do they doubt your
ability, due to age, lack of experience, or preconceived notions about what
they think you can or can’t do?
It’s very important
to put your own feelings aside for a moment and look at your situation
objectively. Once you understand the underlying reasons, face the pessimists
directly with a loving confrontation or a plea for understanding.
Once you understand
your family’s motivations, the next thing to do is launch your own family PR
campaign. No, this is not a joke. Anyone who has ever been in this horrible
situation knows how difficult these circumstances can be. Hopefully, the
following suggestions will help you over come any bad family vibes that you may
be receiving.
§ Bring your success
stories home with you. Send you family copies of client letters or emails that
praise your work. Show them a customer’s check for payment. Share any
articles about your company for the media with them. Tack them up on the
refrigerator or bulletin board – somewhere visible to everyone in the house.
§ Let them know how
happy your business makes you. Seeing you their children happy and actively
pursuing goals will usually make any parent happy.
§ Discuss your
endeavor with their friends who understand business, have children who are not
enterprising, or just simply like you. Once they show interest and
understanding for you and your business venture, mention that you wish your
parents felt the same way. (This works with relatives too.) They’ll feel so
badly for you that they might just take up the issue with your family
themselves. Let other people put a little pressure on your family to cut you
some slack and show you the respect you deserve for what you are doing. Unfortunately,
friends or respected peers are often more likely to recognize your achievements
publicly than your family is. Despite how close you might be, it’s not uncommon
for people to need outside opinions to really open up their perspective –
particularly about their own children.
§ Be sure to avoid
neglecting family responsibilities because of your business, whether they
involve family gatherings or doing the dishes. Be your own person, your own
boss – but do your best to show your family that they still hold an important
place in your life.
§ Find the most
nurturing and supportive person in your family – your mother, father, brother,
grandmother – whoever is most sympathetic to your overall happiness. The more
people you get on your side, the better.
§ Collect a few
stories about people who created successful companies. Whether it is
the corner grocer or one of the entrepreneurial giants, know their stories
well, particularly the vital facts: How old they were when they started, their
experience, their family’s support (or lack of), their resources, and current
success markers (sales, employees, clients, etc.).
§ Avoid sharing
business problems or frustrations with them. If they really aren’t supportive
of your venture, your mishaps will only fuel their desire to intervene further,
or proclaim that they “told you so.”
§ Show them that you
have researched your business and have a clear understanding of your options,
environment, and chances of success. If you are uncertain about your chances,
be honest with them and tell them that despite your own doubts you feel that
the experience will be well worth any potential failure. After all, the best
way entrepreneurs learn about business is by being in business.
§ Be someone that not
only they, but you yourself, can be proud of.
